I have played in a number of bands over the years. The 80’s and early 90’s were the time of “hair metal” and “glam bands” and I was part of that in the Washington, D.C./Baltimore, MD metro areas. It was probably the closest I have ever gotten to getting signed to a record deal – not very close in retrospect but closer than before. I was in a band named Menace and we had originals, a decent following and were gaining some recognition in the scene.
The members of my band were friends with another local band, Misdeal. We teased them and had fun at their expense. Our guitar player would say their lead guitarist “Couldn’t hang” (meaning: couldn’t keep up with him and was not as good) and I called them Mrs. Deal. Mostly, all in good fun but we definitely saw ourselves as the better band. I/We could have done it differently.
Time to mature
I watch a lot of YouTube videos by other musicians and am pleased to see how well a number of them get along, play in each other’s bands, and even swing by to say “Hello” to each other when they are out doing their thing. Look up Phil X, Steve Morse, and Mike Portnoy as good examples. It wasn’t always like that as I can attest to myself. Look up the history of the band Chicago and Peter Cetera for what can go wrong in a major way. Their original drummer, Danny Seraphine, wrote a book that is well worth your time: Street Player: My Chicago Story.
I suggest the new way of allowing musicians to float around other music projects is the better way. There are numerous examples where everyone seems to flourish and boost each other’s careers at the same time. So, where’s the harm in that?
At our level
How does that work out at our level? I just want to play my guitar in peace and enjoy the experience, don’t you? I have heard enough of, “That’s not how you play it”. If XYZ band calls on me to replace their guitarist or bassist, I’ll worry about it then. A band or ensemble may need me to be more accurate to better represent the song live but I am at home and it is close enough most of the time. These days I take time to create and write my own music. That has gone a long way to detach me from the cover band pressure to get the song “just like the recording”. Getting your ideas and feelings out is always a good thing and does not have to produce million seller.
Take the pressure off
It can be a frustrating experience to constantly fuss over “playing it right” and steal all of your joy. Lighten up and let it flow! I find ways of playing music that work better for me and my style. Sometimes they bleed over into some other song as I apply what I did from something before to a new context, “Hey! That’s pretty cool!” So, when you feel like you are getting hung up on a phrase or technique, forget it for now. Play what comes to you now and maybe come back another time.
Remember that getting it “right” or “perfect” can kill the fun and lead to abandoning your guitar. Criticizing other players kills your ability to enjoy it for what it is which leads to self-righteousness anyway and nobody wants that, right? Like a wise associate of mine says, “You don’t need to get it perfect. You just need to get it going.”